Spring is here! With its resounding entrance we are often motivated to clean and rid ourselves of clutter. We examine our homes and start classifying the essential from the nonessential.
We review expiration dates and reorganize our pantries. We put on the gloves, grab the buckets and cleaning products and start scrubbing our homes from top to bottom.
Some of us delve into our attics and garages and attempt to rid ourselves of things we held on to solely for sentimental reasons. We donate unnecessary and unused items.
However, when was the last time you did this with your mental space?
Have you ever taken stock of your connections/relationships?
When was the last time you removed the "clutter" from your mind, heart and spirit?
What does that process even look like? To answer that question, it looks like the intentional creation of peace and clarity in your life.
To help those who want to embark on this version of spring cleaning, here are a few questions you should ask about your relationships/connections as we enter into Spring 2023:
1. Does this connection make me happy or bring me joy?
2. Does this connection add value to my life?
3. Can I rely on this individual for support when I am not at my best?
4. Does this individual celebrate my wins with me?
5. Do I feel heard, understood and acknowledged by this person?
6. Do I feel respected by this person?
7. Do we have effective communication that results in clarity, confirmation, or conflict resolution?
If you answered NO to more than 3, then it is time to evaluate maintaining this connection.
Often times, when we maintain connections that do not serve us or do not reinforce our core values it is a reflection that we need to work on our self worth.
You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are a special, beautiful, amazing human being.
You deserve to be respected, feel safe, and be heard in every connection that you are in.
If your needs aren't being met or are being ignored it is time to walk away.
One-sided connections are draining. Your mental health is important and it should be a priority!
Firstly, Love yourself. Self love is an important step in this process. When we love ourselves we begin to step into the knowledge of what we truly want and what we deserve. When that knowledge is received you can no longer accept less.
Secondly, forgive yourself. Someone somewhere needs to hear that it is ok. Yes, you may have been wrong or imperfect or less than best but you are human. You will make mistakes. Now with that said, let it go! It is time to let the past be the past and for you to Be Present. Enjoy where you are and how far you have come, celebrate your victories, learn from your losses and live. You can not truly step into your authentic self until you forgive yourself.
Thirdly, set your boundaries and keep them! Boundaries are tools that protect your peace. People that truly love and respect you will acknowledge and respect your boundaries. Period!
Lastly, get to know yourself. Do the work! This means take the time to discover your personality type, what love language you respond to, what drives you, what brings you joy. Spend some time alone. Reflect on what you want in a year, three years, five years, ten! Start writing down your thoughts in a journal. Create a daily routine that keeps you accountable for your goals and allows you to work towards them. Be realistic but don’t stop dreaming. You have one life, live it!
As you do the work to be a more emotionally intelligent and healed human you will notice a change in your circle. As you approach the place where you are whole and healed, you will see that your connections will reflect the whole & healed love you have for yourself. You will be surrounded by people who hear you, see you, care for you, and respect you & your boundaries.
I encourage you to embark on your own spring cleaning, your mind, body and soul will thank you.
